2005-06-15 - 12:52 a.m.
It's a silly topic to most of you, I suppose, but it's really bothering me, and I tried to write about it in my paper journal last night and couldn't for some reason.
Back when our grandparents were diapering our parents, their only choice was big, flat square pieces of cloth that had to be folded and pinned. By the time our parents were diapering us, they could use "prefolds," which were smaller around but had more layers so they didn't have to be folded as many times. Then disposable diapers became readily available and most parents said "To hell with the environment!" because cloth was such a pain.
A few parents stuck it out with cloth, and in the 1980's started inventing ways to make it better. Breathable diaper covers that wouldn't cause diaper rash crack in the laundry like the old plastic pants did. Diapers and covers with their own closures that eliminated the need for folding and pinning. Diapering systems that were as easy to use as disposables, for a fraction of the cost and environmental impact.
Technology brought forth the cloth diapering world you see today: the technology of the Internet, the technology of textile manufacturing, the technology of twenty-first century laundry machines. Today, there is a brain-bendingly huge variety of cloth diapers on the market, the vast majority of which are only available through Internet sales.
Most cloth diapering Internet stores are run by WAHMs, work-at-home moms who run these small businesses so that they can stay at home with their children while still contributing financially. (I know of exactly two work-at-home-dad businesses--the rest are mothers.) Some WAHMs make a living reselling diapers that other people sew or manufacture. Some WAHMs sew their own diapers and sell them one by one. A few WAHMs started out sewing their own but have grown their companies into small factories, overseeing the manufacture of diapers in their design.
Everything I know about cloth diapering, I learned from the ladies in the Diapering forum at MotheringDotCommune or from links they gave me. But I do think I need to start staying out of there, because some of the conversations that go on are driving me plain crazy.
The conversations that drive me crazy fall into three basic categories:
1. I am a better mother than you because my baby wears custom-made, hand-sewn fitted diapers and wool covers [that cost ten times as much as the diapers and covers that your baby wears].
2. I am a better person than you because I support WAHM businesses by buying hand-sewn diapers and covers.
3. I am destroying my marriage and driving my family into financial ruin by buying too many diapers, but I can't stop.
And I want to answer those threads honestly:
1. No, you're not. That's silly and insulting. You're a snob.
2. My primary responsibility is to my family. Mine, not theirs. Get it? I won't be able to afford to stay at home with my own baby if I'm paying through the nose to subsidize theirs. Besides, virtually all cloth diapering businesses are run by WAHMs or former WAHMs anyway, so I don't see a difference, ethically speaking.
3. If you can afford luxury items and are happy to budget your money that way, then more power to you. But there is no way on Earth that I would risk my marriage or my financial future for the sake of something that's going to get pooped in, and while I realize that everyone has different priorities, I suspect that if you really can't stop overspending, then you need to get some counseling now.
The thing about cloth diapering is, it can be as frugal or as expensive as you want it to be. You can get a full birth-to-potty setup for around $100, and if you can sew, you can knock that amount down to $30 or less. Compare that to the thousands of dollars you'll spend on disposables and you can see why tightwads like me are attracted to cloth (though the environmental issue is even more important to me). On the other hand, if you're buying diapers that cost upwards of $20 each and you buy six or eight dozen in each of three or four sizes, plus wool covers that can spin into the triple digits, you'll end up spending two or three times what your sposie-using friends would spend. As I said above, that's fine if you can afford it and want to budget your money that way, but it is a luxury, not a necessity.
It bears repeating: There is a difference between a luxury and a necessity. Your baby needs diapers. Your baby does not need the newest or most popular or most expensive diapers.
Since in a few months this will all become practical rather than theoretical for me, I decided to set some limits for myself. I will not buy a diaper that costs more than $5 unless it's a one-size or an all-in-one, in which case the limit is $15. (One-size diapers will fit longer and with all-in-ones you're paying for a built-in cover, so I figure it's fair to increase the limit on those.) I will not allow myself to accumulate more than four dozen diapers or one dozen covers per size. I hope that when my baby arrives, I'll start spending too much time parenting to think very much about what's catching the body wastes.
